I drew this for My sister’s Birthday. We grew up NESing together.

I figured it must have been done before, even though I made it up. Know that feeling?

Well, checking out its cred, I was gmail chatting up my best jokesmith mates. Including Harris Porter, everybody, applaud! He wanted to know if THIS had been done before. I said “no”.  And find it painfully tickling.  Much the same as the real life Harris Porter.

So, there you go yall.

Posted in quickies - October 2008 - 6859 Comments »

UPDATE! baby elephant day is NEXT week. so, hang in there, lil Sam!

SO, Ive been meaning to get to the Zoo so bad for the baby elephant. 2 dollars on the 2nd Tuesday! It’s my time! Tomorrow. I recommend anybody try to see. I’ll meet up with you and we can eat elephant ears. Savage!

This is a still, this little fella is animated.

I have loved and had plans for baby elephants for a while now, starting with Dumbo, and me wanting to be an elephant when I grew up. True story.  I have still loved the elephants, and cant recommend enough the Warner Brother’s “Punch Trunk Love” Elephants and drunks go so well together. This little pink elephant has a future home, were he will represent the cute boozles of a drunk . I’ll shoot that later.  I’ll post, yes, a baby elephant walk later, when I get smarter about enabling video, later on.

But in real life? Tomorrow? BABY ELEPHANTS.

I know little Samudra was pretty disappointed when I didn’t make it last month. I’m coming honey! When the zoo keeper sees how much Samudra loves me, he’ll let me take him home. Samudra will play with Pompoonette, and they will both get jobs building pug dog and elephant bridges, under FDR’s new deal. I won’t have to work, any more ever, plus, Samudra will go online and find me a rich husband. Hooray Baby Elephant day!!!

<3

Posted in internetting - October 2008 - 5773 Comments »

My clever Friend, Victoria Wong and I, are selling her clever paper wallets. Tomorrow,try to find us on Alberta street’s last Thursday! you will have to be around Portland, OR, to do so, and it will be fun. I may bring a wine/chocolate to ensure so.

These are some of the designs we will feature:

Please to be checking back, and i will show you a finished piece, Vicki’s original wallet design is something else, and I may make them available to purchase via these very Internets. You could do worse, I tells ya.

Posted in schwag - September 2008 - 5006 Comments »

Say, many of you know I want to shoot the T.V. when the bar is playing family guy. Especially if I am drinking whiskey. Especially especially if the whiskey has been drunk.

The drawing style is just dumb and bad, I’d rather read New Yorker cartoons done  on magic eye posters after being spun on the merry go round whist doing a keg stand. Beyond that, I am seldom amused by 70’s tv reference and punching a woman in the face every 5 seconds. Call me crazy.

And recently Seth McFarland seems to have juked my ideas! Now, I know there’s a big collective unconscious and once I birth my ideas they are up for grabs, and I doubt Mr. MacFarlane has seen any o’ my junk, but still, I want to call firsties here. He took his opportunity as youtube moderator to sell out to burger king, and he’s calling it “Seth MacFarlane’s Cavalcade Of Cartoon Comedy”.

I hosted an animation festival in 2006, and called it “Zoey Trope’s Cartoon Cavalcade” So, I coined that 1st, yo. Well, kind of.

Now, I actually had heard an author going by “Zoey Trope” as a pseudonym  few years ago, and I took the liberty of using it for the bimbo hostess, a Betty Boop who swore a lot. Played by me, natch.  a zoetrope as a name is too good of an animation pun to let die. I coined that 2nd, at least.

So, on top of Seth’s cavalcade alliteration juke, he had the same idea of a Mario Bro’s gag. It’s the thought of, what would  happen when Toadstool meets Mario for the first time, after his hero’s journey, and her sitting around being all captured.

Spoiler! In my version, she escapes un murdered.

I was interested in the actual pain and injuries that Mario would sustain in the mission, and the ill manners of expecting an immediate fuck, when we know nothing about the Princess the whole time. The big joke was what would Toadstool find to amuse herself during the capture, hanging out with all the eunuch Toads. At least my Mario practices safe sex, though.

Here’s Seth’s, if you prefer Burger King, or Misogyny. Which, youtube does, so it’s a nice fit.

Posted in internetting - September 2008 - 5035 Comments »

So, Jesse and I are rounding home base on this bad boy. And I’ve got to get cooking, I’m doing the “coloring” and man. Here’s page 3, du du done!

Did you notice the Codak cameo? It is because he is such a looker, and not that we are in ca-hoots. Which, we also are, incidentally.

Posted in comics - September 2008 - 5985 Comments »

So, I am also an art enthusiast. I’m moving down the street, so before I pack my paintings, I wanted to share a snapshot. Here, is my tiny collection of original art I’ve purchased/acquired/absconded with. Each one is about 5 inches big.

From Left to Right:

Sarah Oleksyk (pug Cerberus) print

Shannon Wheeler (Boner and Cat) water color

Jeremy Tinder (Sad Little Elephant) acrylic

Al Columbia (Creeper) ink

Graham Annabel (Nosferatu Trifecta) acrylic

Those aren’t the official names, either. I’m not sure the pieces have names, actually. So, maybe those are the official names. I own them, so maybe i get to say such things. Finders Keepers, Whiners, Creepers.

Any how, Enjoy!

I certainly do.

Posted in finer art - September 2008 - 4328 Comments »

Oh man, I am so proud of this. I was gifted a beautiful clicker mechanism. It will make reading these longer quickies a joy. More than one panel? The comic is now called a “Clicky” as, you shall have to click through it. you can use your mouse to click ahead, or your arrow keys to click behind.

I er, don’t know what to do with you iphones…. you don’t like flash.

And this comic? has been in the back of my mind for YEARs, and it took way too many panels to get the emotions out. Remember me by this, if I don’t come out with anything longer before I die an untimely death.

This, is possibly, some of the best dick I’ve drawn.

Posted in comics - August 2008 - 4872 Comments »

so, they want a bio and pic, for the Bridge. This is what I did.  A mean grin, with glam. I traced a pic of my real face too,  so it would be fair. Tooned it a bit, but yeah. I felt like bringing back the tiara. Which, I wore when I was hosting the stumptown awards, because I won the 07 comic arts battle. Fair enough?

Whhhooooo knoows what it’d take to pull me back into the ring of battle. I’m getting so used to etching names wrong, making people cry, and cavorting around dressed like a drag queen, that I don’t even need to draw to be a monster of domination. All I need, is SHOWMANSHIP!

Posted in finer art - August 2008 - 4955 Comments »

Those idiot woman haters are at it again. They want institutions to get to use whiny “religious beliefs” to deny access to abortion, birth control and contraception.  A doctor could even refuse to refer a patent to a more reasonable doctor who would. That is some Grade A Banana Oil. Can you imagine the pharmacist glaring at you when you go and pick some birth control pills, and telling you they don’t believe in it? What’s not to believe in? They exist, they are over there in your stock, hand them to me with your little plastic gloves. Much in contrast to that intangible lord you are appeasing by exerting control over your costumer’s ovulation.

Or, the Doc denies you EC? Or the abortion pill, which is also commonly used over the counter to finish out a miscarriage. Condoms, even? Maybe even they’d get uppity when you buy vagisil. Any product admitting you have a vag to sil, that could be suspect. Geeze, like genital medical purchases aren’t already fun enough!

This allready happens, and now those bushys want to give permission. Major uncool.

This made me think about what if all the contraception my generation has had so much access to had never been available.  Portland is great for growing up, Franklin High School is 5 blocks from a planned parenthood. What if it wasn’t? What if every woman had to carry all of the children that they would have in the coarse of their lives? Like olden days, or Mormons. I shudder to think. I would get no chance to ever draw these silly cartoons. Or, binge drink. I mean, macrame.

Why, it might go a little like this:

Quaint in a cartoon, much more bleak in life. So,if you like sex without babies and doctors having to help you live your life, AKA, doing their job, you should sign this petition. If enough people link to it, we can put thesmack down on this nonsense. I implore sex and woman fans everywhere! Tell your friends!

go here.  Its one quick email. Your unborn babies in heaven will thank you.

Posted in internetting - August 2008 - 4616 Comments »

There  have been a lot of Birthdays lately.

This one goes out to them men. And Maybe Gayelles.

Posted in internetting - August 2008 - 4592 Comments »

this is a colored panel from the Bridge Anthology, I’m surprising Jesse with it. Hits a lot of the Pheremones we’re playing with. That… sounds like more fun than it is.

Oh, and, Happy Birthday, Wheels! 

Posted in finer art - August 2008 - 3421 Comments »

a return to form.

Someday, I may start coloring again, but, black and white is so easy.

Posted in quickies - August 2008 - 5105 Comments »

sucks.

was a one in a million shot.

Be careful, kids.

And er, don’t call. Email. Gwad, my I remind you what happened to my razr not two months ago?

As I was turning off my morning alarm, afterward I missed the nightstand dropped it right into the evening water glass.

So, my decision is to get a Tank of a phone, a G ZONE. which is supposed to be neigh indestructible. I don’t even care if its cute.

so long as it can survive a toilet and glass of water, I will love it.

Posted in internetting - August 2008 - 6426 Comments »

So, I’ve been invited to be in the up coming Bridge Anthology, by Matt Leunig. I have been working with the talented Jesse Baggs, via E-correspondence. It’s coming along! Like, almost done. The comic making especially picks up when we answer each other’s emails. Since my computing friends recently bestowed upon me some tech support and an external hard drive, I’ve had a chance to get some work done. Here is the “pencils” of page 2. A sneak peek, for you, dear readers.

The process has been a very interesting collaboration. I’ve pretty much written for the lady, and Jesse for the dude, for the first few panels, till Jesse and I developed a bit of a rapport.. Then, we both would take turns furthering the story.

SO, um, this comic is about a guy making eyes at a lady at a comics convention. They have this awkward con flirtation. Something I know nothing ABOUT! She is not me, please do not waste my time with that foolish error of judgment. Obviously, I’ve never had braids.

Acting!

Oh, and PS. Do you look at this site? If you are reading this, odds are, you do. Comment on something! You don’t even have to be clever. It will just make me feel less like I’m blogging to myself.

Posted in comics - August 2008 - 5399 Comments »

6 foot 3, weighed a mother fucking ton. Pours a drink out to homies.

oh, and me? I’m just going through my strange ideas I jolted down on a cocktail napkin a while ago.

Posted in quickies - August 2008 - 3805 Comments »

Just this weekend, I wondered aloud, “When are they gonna make more male birth control! I want a reversible vasectomy!” Serious, I remember when the dude pill was on the cusp of being completed. It was funny, because a woman named “Dr. Wang” was working on it.

But then today, I read this article. No Fair!! It seems the man inst ready for the contraception to be on the man! Come on already, to block the lady bits you’ve got to practically have a flashlight, hard helmet, and pick ax to get up in it. Man parts? They just freaking HANG THERE. Can’t a doctor just concoct a mini scrotal sauna to steam out sperms? It has got to be easier than a “once a month comfortable vaginal ring“. Can’t we get at least ONE innovative man apparatus already? I think all us ladies would be mighty pleased.

What a wonderful world it would be.

Posted in internetting - August 2008 - 5054 Comments »

So, you know when you have fistfuls of dollars from selling your wares at conventions? Then everybody is happy, you go to mc minimums and Dark Horse foots the bill? And you meet people you become entangled with in various secret projects? Mostly, everybody is just chuffed and draws on cocktail napkins. This is one of those times.

This is Gurewitch giving a sporting chance to this doodle I made. It could almost make sense, if you round up, and add an “S”. It will never win an Eisner, but it’s sheer hilarity after the blood, sweat, and beers of a comicon.

Want more? Go here and here.

Latin Sensation Arron Diaz? you owe me caricature.

Posted in internetting - August 2008 - 4457 Comments »

This is what it was like driving to San Diego Comic Con from Portland. Shannon Wheeler and I were helming the Stumptown Committee, and we complained ourselves into a fervor until it was decided POSTCARDS NEEDS TO GETS DONE. We were in cali, where driving and cell phones are now illegal, so, heck, I had to put on the adult pants. Here’s how I looked, with a cell on each ear, and my “authoritative” voice. Shannon kept telling me “Your Doin It Wrong!”

Now, if you are ready to be blown away, may I present the beaut of a card mah Portland comitee peeps made! Many thanks to : John C. Worsley, Kaebel Hashitani, Cosmic Monkey Comics, Shannon Stewart, and of course, Zach Baldus for the brilliant illo! Go teeeeaaam!

And that is how Portland roles.

Posted in internetting - July 2008 - 6043 Comments »

So, this is pretty much the funniest “news” I ever saw coming down the telegraph.

They have a pretty good picture, but I couldn’t resist either. Can you say, Cheesecake? Ridiculous? Brilliant? I love crap like this.

You wont hold my embellishing against me, will you? In case you were wondering, the puffs are tissues, she was stuffing.

Embarrassed!

OMGS LOLS

Posted in internetting - July 2008 - 7028 Comments »

Kangaroos are dicks.

Posted in quickies - July 2008 - 4882 Comments »

My mom and sister actually came up with this one. Go Mains/Kurkoskis!

Posted in quickies - July 2008 - 5531 Comments »

Wow, so I’m in a book club with the fantastic Joelle Jones, and lookit how good her art is! She drew a princess and the pea, which reminds me of the one I did a year ago. I looked for it, and only found a low quality sketch, so I did another draft.

Enjoy!

Posted in finer art - July 2008 - 3655 Comments »

ooh, a swear! A new precedent. I hope you, the dear reader, is impressed by this finery I’m rolling out, in honor of the Smart Bitches who read trashy books. They do a mighty useful service over at that site, letting you know about rollicking romance novels before you ever even have to read them. The book covers that they… cover, are absolutely amazing, and I got the privilege to illustrate such trash for the upcoming book. (the watermark, a new thing for a free wheeling broad like myself, is to ensure their bought and paid for images. That’s just the quality of work we do over here in carolynmain land)

Then, for you thinkers, we have a CHALLENGING MAZE that will take you on an EPIC JOURNEY. Only the brave can survive the perils of romance. Love is a battlefield.

Also, since we are at it, who wants to see the Evolution of the leading man? I know I do.

Now, how am I qualified to bring you such silly images, you ask? I happen to have modeled for pulp novels to put myself through college.

Don’t judge.

Posted in finer art - July 2008 - 4436 Comments »

This is a new draft of an old drawing. Of a pug. Again.

Posted in finer art - July 2008 - 5674 Comments »

So, I’m pretty much eating only pizza, birthday cake, burgers, and cocktails this week, and its going great. Here’s an old drawing , drawn for no particular assignment years ago, that is celebrating summer and patriotism. Enjoy! Let out your inner ameri- CAN!

Posted in finer art - July 2008 - 5920 Comments »

Ha, this thing is great. Its a cartoonists gag, and you could all use one. Why, simply EVERYBODY’S doing it. Buy one today!

[http://www.youtube.com/v/0oNynZ0dSMM&hl=en]

Posted in internetting - June 2008 - 4178 Comments »

Oh look. My comic is online. With faux page turning flippy flippers. Check it out.

Posted in comics - June 2008 - 5123 Comments »

So, a dear friend and feisty lady, Marie De Camp, asked me to draw a tattoo design for her. Flattered? Yes. Freaked out at drawing something permanent for somebody I care about and see often? Just a bit. Here’s my first draft.

Here’s Marie and I, with all her monies. M dog has the money, see. M dog gets the honeys, see.

At the tattoo parlor, Marie sat down with me and really nailed down the specifics of her vision. It was a direct and effective way to make a revision, and I was pleased to get it Juuuuuuust right for her. It’s semi permanent, ya know! She wanted one sparrow to be male, and the other a lady. Also, she was able to specify just how dead they should be. Pretty Dang Dead, was the amount.

We decided to have the tattoo artist do the roses and banner, as Marie wanted a real traditional look, and he was a total pro. Here is the Tat stenciled on, with proper placement.

Then, Marie got stabbed for like 6 hours. Marie De CHAMP is more like it!

I was hanging around the parlor for so long, I got bored, and decided to get a little something done myself. No, not the care bear heart on my butt. I got my ears pierced. For the first time. I AM SO RADICAL! Cat was kind enough to hold my hand, and smirk at my wincing, which is also mostly smirking.

Then, after we were all hungery and tired and Cat and I had read every People and Maxim in the waiting room, Marie done got inked!
Here’s her brand new tat, a week post op. You can really see the size and scope of the thing, no foolin. It came out so good, that I don’t have to avoid Marie to not have to look at the drawings! By which I mean, By gum, I like it. More importantly, Marie does too. Next up? COLOR!

Posted in photos, tattoos - June 2008 - 5366 Comments »

or 17, give or take.

I’m a tad late on this very fun meme. Draw your teen self!

:

aw, youth.

Posted in internetting - June 2008 - 4821 Comments »

This one goes out to the Ladies. Another Golden Oldie coming right ‘atcha. I did this one… what, 2 years ago? Time f’in goes by, don’t it?

If I may be so bold, this one goes great with listening to Sugar World, by the Magnetic Fields. Whom, yes, I cherish.

Oh, Mr. Merritt, to be your beard. Actually, can some dark wizard please resurrect Freddy Mercury, so he can marry Stephen Merritt, and I can, heck, be their maid or something? In house portraitist?

Or, yeah, I’d take a time machine to candy mountain with young Elwes here, provided the unicorn didn’t need us to be virgins. Did you know he voices the Baron in the American dub of the cat returns? As if I could stand it. Like I didn’t already grow some whiskers for th Baron. Yeesh.

The offer stands.

Posted in finer art - May 2008 - 4709 Comments »

this is the one I did. And then I found this, which I love.

While I was looking up Pelicans. It kinda beats me. That bear is all, “open up with them fishes”

You get em, B!

Posted in quickies - May 2008 - 6124 Comments »

it’s spring, which is mating season, neh?

Posted in quickies - April 2008 - 5290 Comments »

this one, SFW. I had a couple kids at the Stumptown table, so, maybe I’ll draw some nicer things. Its fun to, y know, draw something nice.

Posted in finer art - April 2008 - 4615 Comments »

So, I made this on Christ ass eve this year, and wanted to show it off. I also made one for each of my two sisters, as well. Katie got a TMNT NES clock, and Andie got a Bart Vs. Space Mutants NES clock, and promptly bent the hell out of the clock arms. I kept this one, as it is iconic. This game, that duck. It all seemed very important at the time. I made up this idea, but i’m sure other peeps have done it too. I burnt out the back of the cartridge with my wood burner, and it stunk to hell.

Apologies to my friends with working NES’s

Now, somebody mod me a Super Nintendo Toaster.

Posted in photos - April 2008 - 6280 Comments »

heh, thanks to Mr. Liberto III for the gag.

Posted in quickies - April 2008 - 3585 Comments »

whaddya think, too dirty for the City hall show? I did much dirtier last time….

Posted in quickies - April 2008 - 5969 Comments »

guess which letter.

Prints shall be at city hall this Thursday!

Posted in finer art - April 2008 - 5064 Comments »

Posted in finer art - March 2008 - 6418 Comments »

I drew a drawing of a song I like. I was caterwauling it while walking the Misses last night, under a full moon. I’m all kinds of mooney lately. You get to try to guess which song it is. HINT- it’s really easy if you know the only 3 bands I listen to all the time.

There shall be prints available at city hall, this first Thursday, if you are so inclined.

Posted in finer art - March 2008 - 5551 Comments »

She’s doing it right

Posted in quickies - February 2008 - 3279 Comments »

Posted in quickies - February 2008 - 6175 Comments »